If you were Brooke Shields, what would you change about yourself? Your eyebrow-grooming regime, perhaps?
Or your failure to achieve any kind of meaningful career as a high-profile moviestar. Or the way your stagename makes you sound like a sinister insurance company. But no, Brooke Shields wishes that she let more schoolboys do it with her. More or less.
Brooke Shields regrets staying a virgin until she was 22. We agree – if she had sex earlier, maybe an unwanted pregnancy would have stood between her and fame, meaning that we’d never have to tell you any of this old crap now.
We’re not really experts on Brooke Shields – call us old-fashioned but we’ve never felt the need to sit down and watch Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Kids all the way through – but even we have to admit that the woman’s got charisma.
After all, Brooke Shields may have inspired Kiefer Sutherland to headbutt a man in the face recently – and Kiefer Sutherland only unleashes excessive force like that in emergencies, like if he’s tacking a terrorist, or interrogating a terrorist, or interrogating someone he suspects of being a terrorist, or someone brown looks at him funny, or one of his bosses tells him something he doesn’t like, or if he’s within headbutting distance of any member of his own family. So Brooke Shields definitely has something going for her.
But don’t think that’s been the case throughout all of Brooke Shields’ life, though – in fact, Brooke was apparently a virgin until she was 22 years old. You know, a virgin like Susan Boyle or Boleslaus V of Poland.
But so what? Brooke Shields didn’t get her end away until she was old enough to train for her HGV licence. That’s not a big deal – after all, abstinence is the latest fad for today’s tweens with their purity rings and their hopelessly idealised standards that they’ll never be able to maintain for any real length of time, so Brooke Shields should be applauded for her chastity.
Except that being a virgin really, really narked her off. Brooke told Health magazine:
“I think I would have had sex a lot earlier. I think I would have been much more in touch with myself. I think I wouldn’t have had issues with weight ? I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected. I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22.”
So there you have it, kids. Brooke Shields wants you to have sex as young as possible, on the off-chance that you might get a bit fat if you don’t. But remember, although you should take Brooke Shields’ advice in this instance, don’t listen to anything esle she has to say about anything ever. Honestly, don’t come crying to us if you end up starring in a hokey Sex And The City rip-off that nobody watches because it’s obviously cack. Seriously, nobody wants that.
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Elia 1 says
Stuart Heritage is an arse.
Seriously folks. This is about as twisted a non-story as anyone could come up with. If this is the best you can do for gossip you’ve obviously either spent the last week on a bender you can’t remember or you don’t belong writing for any serious publication – or any publication for that matter.
Thanks for wasting a couple minutes of my time.
ddisme says
And you are Stuart….who?
Never heard of you before. Your article happened to get picked up by Google news which is how I stumbled across it. Must be a bug at Google.
Seriously dude, how embarassing it must be to be you… an unknown heckler in the crowd whose
contribution is about as useful as an annoying heckler who has no real talent or name recognition of his own, but feels some sense of pride or duty in trashing others.
Get a life, angry virgin.
chrisisdebtfree says
wow. I wasted 3 min reading this. Its o.k. but not intersting
tony says
nice idiot raising daughters! ugh
amr29 says
she is an idiot, im still a virgin at 29
and i have no regrets.what she did to poor kiefer was not right.
i will never watch any of her stuff again.