After Donny's spectacular Celebrity Big Brother exit and Ken's slightly less spectacular savoury biscuit-provoked Celebrity Big Brother exit, we were almost certain that another one of the housemates would have legged it by now, but that's not the case.
In fact, now that the weekend's petty squabbles have died down, the Celebrity Big Brother housemates seem to actually be getting on a little bit, all coming together to make the best impression possible on Jade Goody's grandparents. That's no good to us – this time last year on Celebrity Big Brother we had George Galloway pretending to be a cat, Pete Burns wearing a coat made out of monkeys and Jodie Marsh's parents on GMTV in tears because their daughter was being bullied. And what have we got on this year's Celebrity Big Brother? Pleasantries, that's what. And it makes us sick.
But who's going to win Celebrity Big Brother this year? Here's part two of our Celebrity Big Brother betting odds to win – for Ian Watkins, Jade Goody, Jo O'Meara, Leo Sayer, Dirk Benedict and Cleo Rocos – with help from Paddy Power…
Ian Watkins – The Celebrity Big Brother housemates have now spent five nights locked up in their house, and – as far as we're aware – all Ian Watkins has contributed is a sort of constant low-level simper. When Donny left over the fence, when the Celebrity Big Brother house was divided in two, when all the weekend's arguments started kicking off, Ian responded with the same blandly well-meaning smile that he's probably responded to every single event in his life with. While it goes without saying that this would make Ian Watkins an easy man to get along with, as a Celebrity Big Brother contestant he pretty much sucks. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 9/1
Jade Goody – You're intelligent people; you know how much of a thundering moron Jade Goody is. You know that she tried running a marathon in tennis shoes after eating a curry – you may have even been forced to watch the odd episode of the terrible Jade's PA by someone who clearly hates you – but when Jade Goody entered the Celebrity Big Brother house, we were shown a clip of Jade from the first time she was on Big Brother. How she's changed – back then she was bloated, naked and unable to say a single word without making a noise like the world's pikeyest hippo being strangled by a goose, but we swear that – just for a second – we actually saw Jade Goody try and use logic and reasoning during one episode of Celebrity Big Brother. That's progress – and Jade might even be able to pronounce the word 'influential' within the next 25 years if she keeps it up. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1
Jo O'Meara – Back on Wednesday Jo O'Meara was the favourite to win Celebrity Big Brother, but things have quickly headed southwards for her. It's hard to put a finger on the exact reason why people have started to go off Jo O'Meara, but we sense that it's got something to do with her being a sour-faced complainy old hag all the sodding time. Jo threw a wobbly when she realised that Carol Malone was a journalist, then another one when she thought she had to share a bed with Donny Tourette, then another one when an S Club 7 song was played inside the house. We wouldn't be too upset if Jo O'Meara got the boot from Celebrity Big Brother; partly because all she does is grouch, and partly because every second Jo remains on Celebrity Big Brother is a second when we're reminded of those topless pictures of her that made us want to blind ourselves with gravel. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1
Leo Sayer – Leo Sayer's turning out to be quite the tit, isn't he? When Celebrity Big Brother started he was all "Yeah, I'm a positive person" and "Woo! I radiate positivity!" but already Leo Sayer is fed up with not being the most famous person in the house, and he's turned into a right mardy wanker. Even though he's being paid thousands of pounds just to sit around in a house for three weeks, Leo Sayer has tried to draw attention to himself with an inept silent protest because he's better than all of this. "Don't make me look stupid… I have my pride," the clown-haired squeaky-voiced imp who once sang When I Need You while a bloke on a treadmill gave him a piggyback thundered in the Celebrity Big Brother diary room. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 8/1
Dirk Benedict – 79-year-old film directors shouting "Wankers! Wankers!" in an ill-informed attempt to acquaint themselves with a crowd of people aside, Dirk Benedict had easily the most impressive Celebrity Big Brother entrance last week. Rolling up in the A-Team van with a holdall stuffed with cigars, Dirk Benedict immediately won the love and respect of the entire Celebrity Big Brother audience. And then nothing. A sly wisecrack here, a knowing look there – Dirk Benedict looks like he's in Celebrity Big Brother for the long-haul, but he needs to start reminding people that he was Faceman and not just a vaguely pleasant American chap with opinions about everything if he wants to win Celebrity Big Brother. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 6/1
Cleo Rocos – For 25 years until six days ago, everyone knew Cleo Rocos as a grin, a monumental cleavage and a haircut modelled on Lion-O out of Thundercats – but since she's been in the Celebrity Big Brother house, Cleo Rocos has won people over left, right and centre. She's got it all – she can stay up discussing arthouse films with Ken Russell, she can help Donny dry his clothes after he jumped into the hot-tub, she can smooth over any arguments that the Goodys managed to start with a smile and some kind words, and she can put up with Leo Sayer acting like a massive bloody twat all the time. At the moment it looks like Cleo Rocos is going to win Celebrity Big Brother, which sums the series up quite nicely so far; lovely, but a little bit too lovely. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 9/4
Tomorrow we'll be hitting you with the Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for tomorrow's big eviction. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
Caetano says
I’m gutted that Ken walked. You just don’t get the opportunity to see chubby old men banging their fists on a table and scream “SERVANTS! SERVANTS!” again and again while bits of cracker splatter out of his gob, do you?
When I grow up, I want to be Ken Russell
hanner says
Me too. I want some slippers, dammit. Gawd bless him.
Andrew says
Dirk Benedict is 79 years old :O, more like 61 years old.