Okay… so this feature has been AWOL for a while.
Don’t worry, haiku fans. It’ll be back soon. As a matter of fact, we’ve been busy redesigning and rejigging it and – trust us – it’ll be back soon, better than ever before. Maybe even with big money prizes. Or not. Actually – almost certainly not. Sorry.
The thing is … we just couldn’t let this one slip by. So we’d thought we’d resurrect Celebrity Haiku Competition for a brief one-off special.
You know the rules, people. Simply scribble out a haiku (that’s an ancient form of Japanese poetry, kids) about the topical celebrity story of the hour – namely the one about Britney Spears going all head-shavey and mental.
The prize? Why, the sheer glory of a) knowing that you are the best celebrity haiku writer in all the land, and b) getting your name mentioned on hecklerspray. What could be better than that? Nothing, that’s what. Nothing.
All you’ve gotta do is remember the golden rule of Haiku – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example would read like this:
So Britney has gone
and shaved her head bald? Oh well
I’d still give her one
Oh, come on. That was rushed, okay? You can do better than that, right?
Entries in the comments box below, if you please…
Read more:
Pedro says
You’d still give her one?
CJ Davies, are you sure
you aren’t blind or thick?
C J Davies says
no, pedro – just equipped with the gift of very low standards
J.C. Musser says
I like my 5th attempt best … — John
1)
Oops, she shaved her head
And all the girls will follow
Oops, it’s growing back
2)
Britney shaved her hair
Her baby boy has no hair
So both are bald now
3)
Both Britney and son
are now both without their hair
the boy started it
4)
Like Mother Like Son
Life sans hair is lots of fun
Paris Hilton next?
5)
Now her head is bald
to match the nasty net pix
Paris? Lindsay? Next?
Schmoo says
Behold spectacle
That is ‘fuzzy-nut Britney’
(Both meanings apply)
Viking Lumberjack says
Britney is now bald.
Her bald head looks like an egg.
Possibly scrambled.
CW says
Her head like the moon
Round and white, a shiny orb
Likely filled with cheese
Viking Lumberjack says
A spooky haiku in honor of Halloween in about eight months:
Anna Nicole Smith
And James Brown are not buried.
Britney will beat them.
TBuck says
No hair, not a bit
Rehab twice now and Brit quit
No talent, no shit!
trippingchristy says
Brittney shaved her head
She only wanted to make
Cuffs and collar match
Viking Lumberjack says
First her vagina
And now her big ugly head
What else can she shave?
Captain Awesome says
Brittney Spears lost it.
I think she looks like Boy Geogre
Cleaning up New York.
Maxwell says
Poor Britney, mad coot
Still can’t compete with Sinead –
Nowt compares 2U
fifi says
The note read “Britney,
Christina Aguilera
is sending wigs round.”
Sianna says
Best one yet.
Harry says
bald girl bashing car
ruined umbrella, wild eyes
Girl’s gone wild? No shit.
Harry says
Oh Britney, sans hair
diabolical vengeance
no SUV safe
Alex says
with womanizer
britney’s got a new song
look! even her hair is back
Simon R. Gladdish says
Britney’s lost her hair
But not her fans
At least not me.