All eyes have been at Cannes this week and if the sight of the bikini clad sleaze wasn?t enough to draw attention to the town, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie swanned in to put the place on the front page.
Who cares about films when you can have really, really, really good looking people around?
Meanwhile Terminator Salvation has been seen and received the critical mauling of someone using a phased-plasma rifle in the forty watt range. Also everyone is talking about the new internet site that tells you when to piss in the middle of a movie. Seemingly people are overlooking that fact that it spoils major points in films and are hailing it as some sort of revelatory bladder-relieving miracle.
Back to Cannes though for the big news of the week?
Headlines:
Inconsequential Grammar:
The mass critical circle-jerk has begun for Quentin Tarantino?s Inglourious Basterds as it screened in Cannes this week. Being hailed as another triumph from QT, this WWII set drama stars Brad Pitt as a leader of a group of soldiers who go about scalping Nazis. Because glorified violence is fine, as long as it's against those god-damned un-human German Nazis! Grrrr!
Space Rogan Josh:
If Seth Rogan wasn?t polluting every American comedy/animated movie currently released between 2007-present, he has now managed to cross both the Atlantic and the Galaxy! Announced as the voice of the alien in the upcoming Pegg/Frost penned movie Paul, he plays their E.T. companion after escaping from Area 51. If it was a Rob Schneider movie nobody would give a shit.
Palme d?Bore:
This years Cannes Film Festival comes to a close with a bunch of films that you\’ll never hear of again scooping the top prizes. Michael Haneke?s The White Ribbon was the obvious Palme d?Or winner (apparently). Elsewhere Inglourious Basterds picked up an acting win and Ken Loach picked up another award that will surely appear mundane and bitter to him.
I ain't ?fraid of no childhood raping:
Dan Akroyd spills some more beans about the upcoming Ghostbusters sequel currently being scripted. Apparently involving a spunky female leader who we?ll ?love? and some neuron splitters and inter-planet interceptors that let the new ?busters slip from dimension to dimension? We?ll leave that one with you.
Must See This Week:
Drag Me To Hell:
If you like your horror slick and stylish then you can't do better than Sam Raimi?s return to the genre. After creating to superb Evil Dead trilogy, old Sam has been passing the time making some guff about a kid with spider-like super-powers ? Boring! Now back where he belongs, he gives this horror all his visual panache, wit and trademark Oldsmobile.
Must Not See This Week:
Angels & Demons:
Nothing else is quite leaving the cinema aisles with the same dual action stench of zero characterisation and stale pacing like Angels and Demons. Add a sidekick that makes you long for another Hanks/Volleyball collaboration there is little to like. Not even Hanks in a Speedo can save this!
Video Corner:
Fantastic video from Black20; Transforminators leaves us speechless to its utter genius that we will let it do the talking. Top marks for spot-on Bale impersonation as well.
Any comments or videos you want us to shout out? E-mail us at [email protected]
[story by David Scarborough]
Tom J says
Still rolling with “Film Foam” eh? OK, how about “Frank Film Fracas”?
David Scarborough says
‘Frank Film Fracas’ is good but not quite right! Keep the suggestions coming in on a stamped address hate filled envelope.