Jennifer Lopez Wicked Loves Scientology

hecklerspray is a celebrity news site. That's no secret, right?

And celebrities are usually beautiful people with a fat wallet and a penchant for really living high on the hog. For us to post a story on an organisation and not a person, well that wouldn't be celebrity news at all. Sometimes though, a non-human entity pops up so often in relation to celebrity news that it almost becomes a celebrity itself.

Take PETA and Scientology for instance - those guys are all over the place. Each one of them has appeared in conjuncture with a literary hecklerspray masterpiece more times than Judd Hirsch, the Hamburgler and Bea Arthur combined. Did you know some PETA people got busted last week for allegedly throwing animals they killed into a dumpster? Yeah, we were dying to tell you, but there wasn't exactly a celebrity tie-in - such anxiety we've never known. We need a release.

Oh, and the rest of this article is about J-Lo being in love with Tom Cruise or something.

In many non-Scientological circles, L. Ron's church has a pretty bad rap. Posh Spice basically hates them. Katie Holmes may have hated them while she was in labour. Russell Crowe didn't join them at all… you see what we're getting at here? Some of Scientology's questionable press could come from their people saying Tom Cruise is the brand new Jesus, and John Travolta planted the Dome on the Rock. Or something.

Well that bad press doesn't purvey to all non-Scientology members - take Jennifer Lopez for instance. In this, the less important phase of her career, she's out and said she freaking kinda loves that religion in a barely tolerant sort of way:

"My dad has been a Scientologist for 20 years. It's weird people want to paint it in a negative way. I, myself, am Catholic. But it's just sad that people would look at it Scientology in that way."

Well we don't think they're so bad either Lopez. In fact, we've been trying for months to hook Scientology up with our other favourite non-human celebrity - PETA, but Scientology thinks she must be a fatty and that's why she's still single. Their kids would be so cute too - little fuzzy Kirstie Alleys with a government issued tax exemption.

You smell that? That's love in the air.

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Jennifer Lopez Defends Scientology - nzherald