The Eurovision Song Contest is a very special day of the year – a day when British people genuinely believe that a gonk-faced pikey rapper and his Readers Wives dancers will conquer Europe, then mumble about politics when he inevitably loses.
The UK's Eurovision Song Contest hopes are routinely dashed year upon year with the swiftest of European efficiency, but 2007 might just be the year that the UK finally wins Eurovision again, and it's all down to one man – Morrissey. That's right, Morrissey from The Smiths and several disappointing solo albums is in talks with the BBC about writing or performing the 2007 UK Eurovision entry. Sickened by last year's lacklustre fifth place ranking, Morrissey believes that he has it in him to bring Eurovision victory to these shores with his song, which will probably be called Oh Bloody Hell Why Is Everything So Shit or something.