There's no easy way to say this, so we'll just come out with it – you're thick. No really, you are. The longest word you've ever found on Countdown is 'neck' and you couldn't tie shoelaces until you were 17. You need Brain Booster in your life.
Brain Booster is a series of mentally-stimulating exercises that are meant to pound your brain into such impeccable shape that you'll be doing complex equations in your sleep within a few weeks. Whether or not that will actually happen to you if you play Brain Booster remains to be seen, but there's a sliver of a chance that Brain Booster might boost your brain enough to help you remember where you put your house keys, and anything that saves you another night sleeping in the office has to help, doesn't it?
You'll probably notice that Brain Booster bears an uncanny similarity to the Brain Training game on the Nintendo DS. However, Brain Booster is better because when you play it you're much less likely to get beaten up for basically just doing Sudoku on a children's toy.