Penny Penny Penny, when will you learn? On Strictly Come Dancing Penny Lancaster has shown that if she put her hair up and danced an old-fashioned ballroom dance she’d sail through the elimination process easily.
So what did Penny Lancaster do on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing? She let her hair down and tried to be energetic, that’s what. On Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, Penny decided to dance the Salsa to something that may as well have been Agadoo for all the bloody good it did her. Aiming for ‘vivaciously sexy’ and ending up with something appropriating ‘epileptic woman being exorcised at a disco’, Penny’s bewildering effort left the Strictly Come Dancing viewers wondering if her remote control vibrator was somehow stuck on the ‘destroy’ setting. Needless to say that Penny Lancaster is now out of Strictly Come Dancing for good.
But without Penny Lancaster, who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, Matt Di Angelo, Kate Garraway and Letitia Dean, with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Gethin Jones – Over the course of Strictly Come Dancing so far, Gethin Jones has had trouble acting in a sexy way, partially because his day-job involves making pencil holders out of bog roll – but on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing it all came together thanks to Gethin’s Viennese Waltz to Falling. That’s a dance that requires grace rather than overt sexiness, so Gethin could dance normally without worrying that he had to dry-hump anyone’s face, while any sexiness came from his partner rolling around in his arms at the beginning and end like she was having a full-on orgasm. That was noticed by the Strictly Come Dancing judges, who pointed out that “Camilla melted in his arms like whipped cream in a coffee” – which presumably meant that Gethin also sustained extensive scalding to his arms, torso and balls in the process. SCORE – 36; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 5/1
Matt Di Angelo – Since Strictly Come Dancing began, Matt Di Angelo has proved that he can jig around like a sparkly ninja, but on Saturday the question was whether or not he could waltz. And the answer was ‘not without pulling a face like a gay duck mildly disapproving of something’. But Matt Di Angelo’s monstrous ego at least afforded him the self-confidence to at least look like he was pulling it off, adding a cheeky half-grin at the end of his Viennese Waltz to When A Man Loves A Woman that, if Strictly Come Dancing was a Disney film, would have summoned a group of whistling bluebirds to land on his shoulders. But were the Strictly Come Dancing judges pleased with Matt’s routine? They told him that “you have to focus. Nail the routine so that it comes naturally,” which we think is a yes. Or a partial yes. Oh, we don’t care. SCORE – 29; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 9/2
Kate Garraway – Much was made of the Foxtrot that Kate Garraway rolled out the week before Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing because it was the first time that Kate had shown she didn’t have two left feet – or one left foot and a foot-shaped clump of kebab meat – and her Salsa to Peanut Vendor on Saturday was her chance to gain even more ground on her competitors. Did it work? Did it eff. So self-conscious that she looked like she was going to vomit, Kate Garraway spent so much time away from her partner trying to dance on her own that she looked completely lost. And completely robotic. And completely drunk. The Strictly Come Dancing judges, as you may have guessed, weren’t impressed, saying of the routine that “I’ve never seen less convincing sexiness. Not good.” So speaks a man who’s never seen Imogen from Big Brother‘s sex tape. SCORE – 18; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 50/1
Letitia Dean – Last week Letitia Dean celebrated her 40th birthday. And, like all 40-year-olds, Letitia suddenly found herself dancing like someone’s mad old auntie with a rare motor-skill disorder at a wedding reception at 2am. On the surface, Letitia’s Strictly Come Dancing Salsa to Pastime Paradise was decent enough – there was no violently leering sex face this time and she managed to finish the dance without looking like she’d just run a marathon in lead stilettos – but the Strictly Come Dancing judges pulled Letitia up for her lack of hip action, telling her that the dance was “about as latin as a bag of frocks on the market stall.” At which point Letitia Dean burst into an uncontrollable flood of tears, which is something else all 40-year-olds do, we’re told. SCORE – 25; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 22/1
Tomorrow – the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kenny Logan, John Barnes, Kelly Brook and Alesha Dixon. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.