Whitney Houston – the world's favourite crack-addicted, Kevin Costner co-starring, permanently-constipated, My Name Is Not Susan-singing 1980s pop-soul diva has officially filed from divorce from her husband Bobby Brown.
You know what that means? It means that Whitney Houston is back on the market. And she's quite a catch, too – if you can put aside all the pretend demon-swiping, drug paraphernalia-filled houses and constant requests to pull dried-up turds out of her bottom, that is. And now that her divorce from Bobby Brown is really going ahead, Whitney Houston can be yours. Just so long as you can beat Osama bin Laden to her front door.
Whitney Houston has made some strange career choices in the past – like when she said "Waiting To Exhale? Why I'd love to star in it," or when she decided to stop releasing any new music in favour of just throwing out one badly-packaged, cheap remix-filled Greatest Hits album after another, or when she first said "Dessert? No thanks, I'll just have some crack." But possibly the worst decision that Whitney Houston ever made was getting married to Bobby Brown.
Now, we aren't saying that Whitney Houston must have been out of her mind to marry Bobby Brown – we've experienced strange sensations of lust during the Candy Girl and On Our Own (Theme From Ghostbusters II) videos and we're sure you have, too – but the marriage between Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown didn't exactly go swimmingly.
In the last couple of years alone there's been the ill-informed and "execrable" Whitney Houston reality TV show Being Bobby Brown – a show which landed Whitney and Bobby with the title of World's Tackiest Couple – to deal with, alongside near-constant divorce rumours, cringeworthy New Edition reunions and the unwanted attention of the world's most wanted terrorist. Eventually it was all too much to deal with, and Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown split up a month ago. Now Whitney Houston is thought to have officially filed for divorce from Bobby Brown as E! Online reports:
A month after filing for a legal separation from her husband of 14 years, Houston has taken the breakup to the next level by officially filing for divorce in Orange County Superior Court, her rep Nancy Seltzer said Tuesday. The move comes as no surprise, considering Houston has been referring to the split as a divorce from day one, even when it was technically still a separation. "We're saying she filed for divorce because that is [Whitney's] intent," Seltzer told People magazine last month. In her separation documents, Houston, 43, requested custody of the couple's 13-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina, with visitation rights for Brown, 37. She also asked that division of property be attended to at a later date.
While divorce is always hard for everyone involved, you have to spare a special thought for Bobbi Kristina, the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Imagine choosing between a toothless crack addict mother and a violent father with an arrest warrant and the balls to name you after him even though you're not even the same gender. Imagine it. Imagine it.
OK, stop imagining it now.
Read more:
Whitney Follows Through On Divorce Intentions – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Danniely says
You are so stupid to talk about the best world’s singer that way. You suck bastard.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U says
REGUARDLESS OF WHAT SHE WAS ,SHE WAS THE WORLDS GREATEST SINGER OF ALL TIMES, A GOOD MOTHER ,DAUGHTER,SISTER,AND A FRIEND TO THOSE WHO KNEW HER AND BESIDES IF SHE DID SMOKE CRACK IT WAS HER MONEY SO Y EVERYBODY DOWN RATING HER YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED AND UNDERSTOOD HER PAIN AND PRAYED FOR HER INSTEAD DWELLING ON HER DOWNFALLS WE ALL FALL SOMETIMES BUT WE GET BACK UP