It's outrageous – all Michelle Rodriguez wants to do is find beauty in a jail cell and the sods keep setting her free before she can properly find it.
Although Michelle Rodriguez started her 180-day jail sentence for probation violation just over a fortnight ago, it has been reported that she was last night set free for good behaviour. In total Michelle Rodriguez served just 17 days of her six-month sentence.
Michelle should count herself lucky – one day longer and she'd have had to suffer through a full 10 percent of her sentence. Imagine how hellish that would be.
Remember when Michelle Rodriguez went to jail for six months a couple of days before Christmas? Aside from the fact that it meant policeman could work over Christmas without a lairy mannish-looking woman from the Dominican Republic stumbling up to them and ordering them to put a gun to her fucking head, what do you remember most about it?
Was it, say, that Michelle Rodriguez was found to be ineligible for either work furloughs or house arrest and had to – absolutely had to – serve out the entire six months of her jail sentence, all of it, from beginning to end, with not even a sniff an early release?
Funny that, because that's what we remember about it, too.
Not that anything like that matters, though, because Michelle Rodriguez's 180-day sentence for skipping community service from a previous conviction and drinking with a SCRAM anklet has been cut to just 17 days, and she was released last night. People reports:
Michelle Rodriguez was released from the Lynwood, Calif., jail Wednesday night after serving just 17 days of her 180-day sentence… The 29-year-old actress got out at 7:50 p.m., according to her official web site.
17 days? 17 measly days? That's rubbish. Honestly, what's a decent self-respecting female inmate like Michelle Rodriguez supposed to accomplish in 17 poxy days? That's only enough time to get you a brown belt in shiv-fencing at best, plus it's nowhere near the amount of time that Michelle Rodriguez's body needed to build up an immunity to the biro-ink tattoo performed with a spit-sterilised needle that she was planning to give herself.
Still, Michelle Rodriguez's early jail release hold an important moral for all of us – if you're going to break the law, then do it in Los Angeles. And it helps if you're the shit one from Lost as well.
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Adam Gade says
Being a gypsy, she probably did a sick violin solo, danced a bit and left the prison completely forgiven, but not before emptying the contents of all the guards’ pockets of loose change.