Hey, good news for all you jobless, talentless, freeloading, seed spreading, fame whoring dads out there! You may have a chance to become father of the year. That’s right, you may be awarded such a title if you can claim at least one of the following qualifications:
1) The mother of your children likes to repeatedly declare she’s going to make a huge comeback in the world of pop music, y’all, only to repeatedly get even more drunk, more dishevelled, and more bad hair extensiony.
2) You don’t have to bribe bums on the street for a urine sample to pass the weekly court mandated drug tests to prove you’re not an unfit mother.
3) You’re Kevin Federline.
It’s lucky for Kevin Federline that he fits all three qualifications depressingly well, because that clinches him for the title of Father of the Year as granted by Details magazine.
Oh, Larry Birkhead was also at the top of the list, but we just don’t have the time to focus on him because we have to get our space blankets and water canisters together for the imminent coming of Armageddon.