To Robert Pattinson, acting is an art – a perfect form of expression that he only does to nourish his soul.
That’s a lie. In fact there are many reasons why Robert Pattinson is an actor – it’s one of the only professions where putrid body odour or that haircut aren’t instantly-sackable offences, for instance. And also, as he recently revealed, Robert Pattinson only became an actor because he’d meet pretty girls.
But his plan has backfired horribly. Ever since he starred in Twilight, all the girls he’s met have been 14 years old, hysterical and medically incontinent. Tough break, Rob. Tough break.